I Hate Your Friends: Why Facebook makes me hate people that I don't even know (an Interlude)

by The Yankee Dread

One of the things that I often forget about Facebook, is that it is really not a large community at all, rather a web of several smallish communities tied together (loosely) by friends, friends of friends, and friends of friends of friends...

One of the things that I am beginning to realize about Facebook is that it is making me hate your friends...this is merely an interlude, therefore I should get right to the point and share a couple of observations on why I hate your Facebook friends:

1. The commenter: (Someone that replies to a post clearly not intended for them)

I hate you more than I hate the second season of the Wire, because I did not intend to talk to communicate with you, I don't care that you disagree with me, and now you have forced me to hate someone that I don't really know. 

2. The Religious-Zealot: (Someone that interjects their Fundamentalist-Evangelical views into every post)

Unless someone asks you to pray for them, please stop. I especially hate the cop-out/lazy aspect of you people...I mean your friend has just opened up to you (and 300 people that they barely know, or had one-night-stands with) about something really deep, or that they have been stressing about, and rather than actually try to help them, your either say "give it to God" or quote some random passage from Thessalonians...you suck!!!....and I hate you more than Philadelphia Eagles fans who still think Kevin Kolb is the future in Philly.

3. Your Dude-Friend (Although it has occurred to me that I may be this "dude" to "other dudes")

This is the douchebag showing off his abs, or posing in his facebook picture with his cellphone, or some other wack fake-rapper bullsh*t in his profile pic window...I hate this guy more than Paul Pierce's facial hair situation...and a question to my intelligent and beautful Facebook ladies: Are these man-whores as transparent to you as they are to other dudes?????????

4. Every single one of my little cousin's friends 

Did my freinds suck that bad when I was 20-23? I hate them more than that Glee Bullsh*t

5. Tyler Perry Fans

I hate that you let your friends like this guy...It makes me lose respect for you

6. The Correctors

Who in the f*&^ are you to correct me....plus the last three "friends of friends" who did this were wrong, incidentally

7. The Right-Wing Facists

A. Where did you meet these assh*les, at the last Midlantic Klan rally? It makes me wonder about you...

and

B. Why do you constantly make excuses for knowing/being friends with these people...like any other interpersonal relationship it is not a good sign if you have to explain why and how you know someone

8. (Fake) Patriots

see above

9. Your Family

I said it...YOUR FAMILY SUCKS! Tell the truth, would you talk to half of these people if you weren''t related to them...Honestly, 9 times out of 10, if I go on your page and see some weird-pseudo-religious-quasi-philosophical-Tyler Perry-Oprah cult madness...you guessed it....they have either your last name or shared facial features....I hate them more than the fact that Janet Jackson continues to get acting roles

10. The nickname-middle name people

Are you kidding me? John The Coolest Smith or Samantha Beautiful Swagger Jones...you are a horrible person, and you have now given that fact away....think of the guys that you know named Tiny....are they ever really tiny? and I haven't skimmed Genesis or Exodus lately, but isn't the 3rd commandment Thou Shalt Not Come Up With Thine Own Nicknames! If not it should be...

I'm not saying that your racist, but...

One of the things that has really bothered me lately is the liberal use of the term "race card". I'm not sure whether to blame OJ or AC, but ever since the most famous Ford Bronco ride of all time, and the subsequent "trial of the century", people have thrown this term around like mystery meat in a middle school food-fight. It seems that it's become a shut-down/go-to defense for...well, racists to be racists. When you study the history of the term more closely, however, it isn't that surprising to see what its become, considering that it was invented to defend a....well, racist:

The "race card-card" as I have coined it, is at best an expression of denial of the existence of racism, and at its worst: a thinly-veiled admission of one's own racism (and by the way, that lame sh*t only works on people with no skills in the field of debate). So I encourage you to not use this term when in serious arguments, it really only gives away your crazy-Limbaugh-Beck world view, and the fact that your probably an anti-intellectual who says things like "book-smarts" and think way too much about Michael Vick...
However, in an effort to never be accused of being a person who points out problems without offering solutions, I have come up with something productive to offer my fellow evolved monkeys: A list of things/phrases/actions to avoid unless you want your black and or progressive/liberal friends to write you off as a probable bat-sh*t/Hannity/Gingrich (closeted) racist: Of course I am hyperbolizing a-bit, but you might (key word)  be a 21st century post-racial biggot if you:

Add up




1. Use the term "race card" when people bring up possible racist activity in our society
(see above)



2. Still bring up the OJ Simpson trial more than once a year
First of all, I have to admit that this has finally died down for the most part in recent years, however every now and then (and this is mostly from racist-comedians, a group of people that I will go in on in future musings) I still hear people randomly bring up this now 15-year old case. Do not do this, unless you want to bring out the inner-Sharpton in this author...

3. If you think that College Basketball is somehow better than Professional Basketball...
This is a touchy one, so let me be specific...I am not necessarily saying that you can't believe that college basketball is more "fun to watch" or that it is refreshing to see "real offensive schemes being executed" from time to time, however if you say any of the following, I am talking about you:

- "I don't even watch the NBA anymore" Your use of "anymore" gives you away here...
- "I can't believe how much money they make to play a game" Yet you have no problem with how much Ben Affleck makes being a terrible actor
- "I shoot better than that guy" No you don't...period


4. If you listen/watch to any of the following shows:
Sean Hannity
Rush Limbaugh
Marc Levin
Glenn Beck
Bill O'Reilly
Michael Savage (although he is really entertaining)
Michelle Malkin
Ann Coulter
The Real Housewives of Atlanta *(specifically for self-hating black people)

5. If you say or have ever said: "I like all-music, except rap music"
Just because you pulled up next to some gangster wannabees, playing the latest ignorant post- hip-hop, corporate-driven "bitch and ho" song, doesn't mean that you know anything about or have "listened" to hip-hop (it hasn't been called rap for some time now...) music. Judging the genre as a whole based on this is like someone else writing off rock-n-roll because they heard a five second snippet from David Bowie's Tin Machine....

6. *Just for self-hating black folks: If you like Tyler Perry and/or his movies:
You can't like this guy, and not hate yourself:

7. You refer to the President as "Obama" or have ever used the term "Obamacare"
A. He is the President of the United States (you true American Patriot, you)
and
B. I know that dissing the term "Universal Health Care" sounds really bad so you had to create another term, but much like compassionate comnservatism, "Obamacare" doesn't exist just because you keep repeating it...




8. If you think that this woman is either: attractive or intelligent:

While most of this is satyrical humor, this one is not...If you like or more importantly "respect" this idiot, you have serious, serious issues...period, if offer you these quotes to accentuate my point:

A. "'Refudiate,' 'misunderestimate,' 'wee-wee'd up.' English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!'" --a Tweet sent by Sarah Palin in response to being ridicule for inventing the word "refudiate," proudly mistaking her illiteracy for literary genius, July 18, 2010


B. "I think on a national level your Department of Law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been charged with and automatically throw them out." --Sarah Palin, referring to a department that does not exist while attempting to explain why as president she wouldn't be subjected to the same ethics investigations that compelled her to resign as governor of Alaska, ABC News interview, July 7, 2009


C.  "As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border." --Sarah Palin, explaining why Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience, interview with CBS's Katie Couric, Sept. 24, 2008


case closed...


Peace


The Yankee Dread, November 4, 2010

what exactly does it mean to be a MAN ?

By The Awesomest

Has the definition of the male species been reduced to simply the label on the door you open when you need to go to the bathroom? Volvo isn't a woman's car at all?

Manliness is down overall as...

Physical contact has is being slowly legislated out of professional sports.

Boxing is less popular than its ever been.

People don't get beat up anymore....... they get shot.

When i was a kid we played games like "suicide" and "kill-a-man". Every game seemed to have a painfull element to it.  Tests of fortitude.

The most prolific R and B band of the 80's and early 90's was Fullforce. Muscle bound love music.

 (They signed the largest production deal signing bonus ever at the time.6 million only to be out done by Wu-tang at 9 million.)

Would you want to meet them in a dark alley? and they had jeri-curls?

.............today we have Usher  Raymond and guys like that.

even Rock and Roll singers used to be tough. 

Names like Rock Hudson* ,Burt Reynolds, Mr-T, Tom Jones would  exude testoserone and today find themselves obsolete.now we have Will and Grace and  the metrosexual characters of cable

In the streets people dont get stuck up anymore.From time to time you had a victim who was not going to accept a robbery that day.So now you have a varitey of drug dealers and shisters. They get what they want in the less direct manner.

Has the women's movement changed the role of the male permanently?

Have we conceded so much of our responsibilities that the differences between men and women will be almost unnoticeable?

Does Oprah have alot to do with this? Ever since the 'Color Purple' and Cheryl Pepsi Riley did 'Thanks for my child' (which by the way was written by six men) things have swayed.

Remember the old western movie plots?

When a husband and wife lay down at night and there is a thump. who gets up? Is there a rotation?

How is this effecting children? Are roles defined enough for them to see? Or is it adding to their confusion as adolescents?

Is homosexuality and valid option if the pressure to be the textbook "male" is too great?

What are our leaders like today? Are they male and female? Are there fewer leaders overall ? resulting in less outstanding and less defined leadership?

In the Black community for example 40 years ago there were several outstanding male icons. they have not been replaced.Why is that?

In sports today we have Kobe while experiencing similar success  he clearly lacks the fortitude Jordan had  before him.The NBA created the Jordan rules but mike never complained about the physical play he dealt with.

I'm sure Kobe would have several speeches per week about it.Times sure have changed.


The "wife beater" sleeveless under shirt has been replaced by the t-shirt. (no muscles required)

 Not to say there were no concessions for men to make to women. But where are men today and where are they headed?

If i image google search "tough guy" this comes up:

If  I search "80's tough" guy this shows up:

What is going on ?

flavor flav  1980's was zany but backed up by the hardest rap sound available.....

today kanye seems to be channeling him for the same result but his formula is different. Identify the differences between the two and  you can you then see my point.